How to Make People Think You're Crazy - A How To Guide

So we've made our decision.....

We're moving forward with the girls. We're not sure that adoption is 100% in the cards as mom still has rights but if it goes that direction (as it is expected to), we will be there to offer them a permanent home.

This decision has truly showed me how much we judge other people by whether or not we would act in the same way someone else does when put in the same circumstances.
I have been surprised over the last few weeks at the outpouring of opinions (I did ask for most of them) AGAINST adoption (or against this particular adoption because of needs of the kiddos, etc.) but I've also found some unlikely supporters with the MAJORITY of people simply listening to my pros and cons but looking at me like they've just discovered a deep secret about me - the fact that deep down, I'm REALLY crazy.

So I'll go ahead and lay it out there - maybe you'll read it and have a better understanding of how WE arrived at our decision and MAYBE you'll still think I'm crazy - just remember, crazy people need support too!

Pros (these don't really need a lot of explanation)
1.) These girls are CHILDREN - who are sweet and helpful most of the time.
2.) They are loving and like to be loved on.
3.) They love our children and fit in well with them.
4.) They have made amazing progress in the VERY short time we've had them.
5.) They are almost always respectful and are eager to learn new things.
6.) Our children love them and so do we.
7.) We can offer a home with stable parents and a lot of love.
8.) We can offer a home where they will learn to love Christ and have guaranteed exposure to the Gospel on a regular basis.
9.) They love having brothers
10.) They have enough room here and the older one is settled in her school - they are making friends and fitting into our lives and vice versa.

Cons (I'll explain how we are able to get past these in hopes that you'll understand our decision a little better)

1.) They may be delayed (significantly) for the rest of their lives. This was a TOUGH one for us since it can mean a huge responsibility on our children (after we're gone) if they aren't able to live stable adult lives BUT we would take that potential risk with any child we adopted OR gave birth to. NO ONE can see the future and we can't make decisions on what-ifs. PLUS, their therapists believe they will continue to progress as they have in the past few months.

2.) It is really expensive to raise another 2 or 3 potential children. There's a little saying that we LOVE since it sums up our present and our future. LIFESTYLES are expensive, children are not. We are very good at living within our means and having a LITTLE left over for doing some of the things that we like to do as well. True we DON'T make a ton of money and children DO cost money but we are confident that God will provide what we NEED and some of what we want as He always has before.

3.) It is not fair to your biological children to bring more children (who need extra help) into your home. Well, I suppose it depends on your definition of fairness - we think that we are doing our children a FAVOR by showing them what it means to help others in a way that God has called us to. We want our children to grow up to be compassionate and with a heart toward service. We see our sharing our time and resources with other children as CONDUCIVE to a good upbringing for our biological children not as a detriment.

4. The behaviors of the children will be difficult to deal with. This one IS true - there is no denying it. But behaviors typically get BETTER with time and we put up with poor behavior from our own children at times - it just FEELS different when it isn't your biological child. It is not possible to expect good behavior on a regular basis when they haven't had CONSISTENT parenting and discipline for the last 4-5 years. The longer they are in our home with consistent expectations and consequences the better the behavior will be and we'll continue to address issues in therapy and with professionals as we are currently doing.

5. If we adopt all three (if the baby comes too), we will have to stop fostering because our home will be full. This is a big one for me as we LOVE doing foster care but there are a LOT of freedoms that we don't currently enjoy due to foster care restrictions AND we will be able to foster again once our children leave home (beginning 12 years from now and I'll only be 41 then).

Anyway, this is how WE, an average American family, have decided to take our family of 5 to a family of 8 permanently. We don't know what the next few weeks and months have in store for us - whether this will move past a commitment to a reality or not. All we know is that we're willing to give it our best shot.

Hey everyone needs at least ONE crazy friend, right?