Starting Over

Well, I know I haven't posted but a LOT has happened in the last couple of weeks. Rex* has gone home - he left last Wednesday to go live with his father. Something tells me Dad won't be calling for advice or updates but in the end, I'm thankful that he maintained cordiality and I got a handshake at the end WITH a "Thank You for all you've done," which from him, is about as much as I could hope for.

Our CASA worker told me that she'd be seeing Rex* weekly for the next 6 months and that our case worker would also have to maintain contact for that long so I feel a little better about him going home but I still have some doubts.....and just when I'm unsure, it seems that God jumps in to answer my fears and concerns....

While at therapy today with little A, in walks one of our birth parents from last year. A little background: we took her 4 year old and 1 year old and then two days after we took them, we were given her newborn daughter straight from the hospital. It was a rough road as no one wants to get to know the woman that has their children but the birth mom and I DID wind up really bonding. We still occasionally talk on the phone but I had doubts about them going home as well, most speficially about the man that she had allowed to be around her children (and hoping that she didn't go back to him, etc.).

I can't even put into words what seeing them did for my heart, it was all I could do NOT to break-down right in front of her (of course I started BAWLING when I got to the car). The baby is now 5 1/2 months old (she was 2 months when she went home) and the 1 year old will be 2 in a month. The 4 year old dressed himself this morning and was rocking knee-high cowboy boots with his shorts...so cute. They looked healthy and happy and I was so excited to see them....I feel like it was God's way of telling me that even though I can't always see these children after they leave, that HE still has His hand on them and that's all that really matters. Their mom told me about her new boyfriend whom she has been friends with for years who has two children of his own and it sounds like the family is doing VERY well and has even moved into a much larger 4 bedroom home.

Due to budget issues in our state, we are going to have to leave our agency that we've been with since we started fostering. So we'll be going through some of our paperwork and process all over again which is just AWESOME (please note my use of sarcasm in the previous sentence) but hopefully it will move us one-step closer to an adoption one day! This will start when our last two girls leave our home and of course, you'll all be dragged through that process as well - hopefully it won't be TOO painful...