The Check is in the mail, baby!

Does anyone else ever feel like a FAILURE when it comes to parenting? I have this fear that we take all these classes and read all these books but that our children won't grow up anymore loved or confident than any of their peers - they'll face the same temptations and bow to them. They'll see the same opportunity for misbehavior and take it. They'll scream "I hate you - you just don't understand me," as they slam the door on their way out for a date with someone whom I'll probably dispise (I'm sure they'll have a nose-ring, bad attitude, and dubious nickname).

I have these fears a LOT as it would kill me to have my children grow up and NOT be close to me (not in distance of course) as they are my WHOLE life. But, every once in a while, I see a small glimmer of hope.

Tonight, that hope came in the form of "Spiderman: The Venom Saga." I couldn't help but crack up as my 2 and 4 year old boys ran around the house pretending to shoot webs at my husband and myself all the while repeating the line, "The check is in the mail, baby," (they actually thought they were saying something naughty/meaningful but it was just so comical, I coudn't correct it).

We got some disappointing news about Rex* this week. After all the drama that unfolded with Dad, it appears that he apologized to the caseworker prompting her to go ahead and recommend at our next court date, March 10, that Rex* should move to getting unsupervised weekend visitation with his father. While I KNOW it is our role to love these children, support reunification, and then send them home - it is NOT an easy role. We were sure that the last incident would at least cause a LITTLE setback but apparently an apology goes a long way to erase bad behavior (even into adulthood). So tonight, in addition to my regular prayers, I will say a special one: that someday Rex's* dad will care so much about being a parent that he will actually FEAR that he's not doing a good enough job and that someday, he too, will laugh out loud as his precious 3 year old runs around a living room, without so much as a care in the world, giggling and telling him that "The check is in the mail, baby!"